It’s probably a good time to talk about condoms. After all, without the condom where would many of us be? Pretty bored to say the least, if not in court or jail.
Have you lost that loving feeling? Has your sex life dwindled so much it's affected your personal life and turned you into the neighborhood geek? Do pretty girls at parties point at you and ask, "Is that the clam dip?" When you lose that sexual feeling you really lose it. Yes, there's something to the phrase, use it or lose it. It's not so much that you have to use it. It's just that if you don't, you may forget about it all together.
There's nothing a good night in the sack wouldn't cure. But you could also use a boost. Some people may have advised you to try an aphrodisiac for you or a potential partner. If the word sounds foreign, you probably have lost it. But fear not. Aphrodisiacs, although thought to be a myth, do have some validity and you have a good chance to get back in the ball game.
Food, drinks, plants, supplements, oils and aromas have been described as aphrodisiacs over the centuries. Aphrodite, the Greek goddess of love, inspired the name, but geeks have been trying their luck at the desired substance ever since. Scientists claim the search for a true aphrodisiac is futile. Anything that appears to work is attributed to psychological reasons. The brain is the ultimate aphrodisiac.
Books provided many of us with our introduction to sexual discovery. Sure, there were the skin magazines you might have discovered in the trash or through a friend and perhaps x-rated playing cards passed around in secret at school until somebody got caught. But the details of true lovemaking often came through novels of various types. These novels might have included best-sellers or even classic literature, which included scenes you didn’t see in the film versions. Ah, so that’s how it’s done, you may have thought while reading erotic passages. You passionately embrace each other before undraping the woman whose breasts become exposed while the wild winds blow stronger and thunder explodes outside. It sounded so romantic, but just when you were beginning to enjoy it, the chapter ended.
That still wasn’t enough. You needed more explanations. More details! So, you somehow came across a copy of an “adults only” book, also making the rounds in class before someone got caught. This happened to a classmate who foolishly placed the book on top of his school textbooks and the words, “adults only,” caught the attention of the teacher. We feared our friend would be suspended, and so would those of us who handled the book at one time or another, but he got off with a stern lecture. The teacher mentioned no more of it and the book mysteriously disappeared, but not before it had been passed around enough to give some of us a real eye-opening experience to the nitty-gritty. Wow! I didn’t know you could do that! Is that what girls like? Sounds good to me. In some of these books, you learned sex between two people is beautiful, but the more the merrier! In some cases, kids learned to read through adult books because of subject matter that made sense (educators should take note when devising new reading programs to improve literacy). You may have barely made it out of high school, but the books that really mattered gave you the information you needed to enjoy life and intensify relationships.
There have been some interesting conversations on the Internet message boards between men and women about the new “Magic Mike” movie, which involves the trials and tribulations of male strippers. Responding to comments from men who put the movie down, some women claim these critics are jealous and insecure. The men feel threatened by male beauty and female power. Did guys complain about movies like “Showgirls?” On the bright side, depending on how you look at it, some men have joined the female chorus in praising a film about male strippers and its appeal to women. At least one fellow pointed out that the terrific physiques on the men in the movie have motivated him to head to the gym.
Women who convince their men to accompany them in seeing the movie are overjoyed they don’t have to sit through another male action movie featuring martial arts, car chases and gun play. In this sense, men can enjoy watching male action figures and, like the guy heading to the gym, do more for themselves to become attractive to their ladies. After all, if you can feel a sense of manliness watching a crime-fighting action hero take on dozens of enemies, you can also pretend you’re up there on stage in full view and being ogled by dozens of adoring female fans. It’s the same fantasy and the movies just bring out your deep dark secrets.
Ever had sex with a zombie? Maybe you think your partner is a real deadbeat when it comes to lovemaking. But before you consider those accusations, remember that real zombies are a lot different and scarier. Zombie mania continues to sweep the nation. People have been fascinated with tales of zombies for centuries, although the release of George Romero-style “Living Dead” zombie movies always sparks a renewal of interest in these soulless creatures brought back to life. To stretch their fantasies, zombie fans enjoy speculating on an actual zombie apocalypse that stems from a catastrophic event, causing zombies to rise and wreak havoc on the world. Some poor souls take these horror scenarios seriously. Cries of a zombie apocalypse may erupt whenever a real-life bizarre incident occurs, usually perpetrated by a drug-crazed madman. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) was recently so frustrated with irrational fears from the public that it was forced to release a statement saying, in effect: No, Virginia, there is no such thing as zombies. Aside from zombie movies and folklore, zombies make great costumes at parties. The allure of zombies has unleashed several zombie survival guides and kits just in case there ever is a zombie apocalypse.
If you’ve ever seen the movies, you probably thought to yourself that zombies are pretty easy to knock over, as long as you don’t get in the way of their teeth. They move slowly, fall easily and really get all messed up when you shoot them in the head. The sluggish nature of zombies has even entertained some people with notions of having sex with a zombie. If you happen upon a fairly fresh zombie that looks quite attractive, it might be pretty good pickings. This could be especially true during a zombie apocalypse. Instead of killing all the zombies, the good-looking ones might be held captive for the pleasure of the captor. Assuming that a zombie apocalypse results from some kind of virus that turns the dead into the living dead, some desperate fools might even start killing attractive people with the hope of using them as sex objects.
A beautiful porn star sat on my lap at an adult sex shop. That’s one of the reasons I’ve always liked those places. When you wander through an adult store, you never know what you’re going to find. You might have something on your mind, but plenty of pleasant surprises await you. Aside from the sex toys, how-to books, DVDs and other materials that cover all sex genres, you could walk into special events the shop holds on occasion. These shops make ideal locations for adult celebrities. I met some of my favorite adult film stars at adult shops.
My first porn queen experience involved a group of friends, who decided to head down to the local adult store, which advertised the appearance of an adult film star, quite a favorite among porn fans at the time. We were about the first to show up at the shop and were all eager to have our pictures taken with her. A huge wicker chair stood in an area where she was to pose with folks for photos. We weren’t sure who got first dibs, but she came up with the idea of one of us sitting down so she could sit in his lap surrounded by the others. There was a brief pause until a close friend of mine turned to me and said, “Why don’t you sit down?” In a split second I dropped down in the chair waiting to welcome her on my lap. My friend later told me there was a look of outrage on the faces of our other friends when he made the suggestion. Early bird gets the worm, I thought.
I met many other porn stars, male and female, over the years at adult shops. When you get to talk to them, they’ll chat about their various movies and the people they’ve worked with. Sometimes I tried to pry some juicy tales out of them, but discovered their personal lives might include fishing, swimming, hunting or attending sports events. Adult film stars could be just as normal as regular human beings.
Currently most people think that sex toys are just for women, which is incredibly telling on how the world of adult novelties has changed over recent years. Now it is common to see discrete advertisements in women’s magazines and on television where various vibrators geared towards increasing the sexual satisfaction of women. Historically though, sex toys were a man’s world and most of the sexual accessories made were geared towards guys. These “boy toys” are still around though and should not be overlooked on your next adult shopping trip. Masturbation sleeves, cock rings, performance enhancers and pumps are all still widely available. These toys are well worth taking home, much like the wildly popular, best of the best penis extenders.
Vibrators are amazing. Sure, I may be biased as large parts of my life have revolved around them, but anyone who has experienced the glory that are vibrators that work for their bodies shares this adoration. Vibrators are multi use sexual tools you can buy that help break sexual habits and start new ones. Keeping out of sexual ruts is imperative to keeping passion alive, with yourself or with a partner. Trying new things, learning new ways your body responds to stimulation, keeping a fresh perspective. These are all tried and true ways to fully experience your orgasmic potential through out your lifetime.
While you may have a wide range of feelings about the strip clubs that made them famous, it is virtually impossible to deny the sexual punch that is the iconic dance pole. Almost everyone has had at one point or another in their life a fantasy about a sensual striptease done just for them - their own private dancer. The art of the strip tease is well documented and a skill that has a long and storied history. Now, thanks to a number of excellent companies you can bring home and harness this sensual energy with any one of these sexy dance pole kits.
Hopefully you’re currently getting over your chocolate coma from the Valentine’s Day candy and enjoying the warm afterglow of a wonderful holiday. One of the busiest times of the year has just ended for those of us who work with adult novelties and we are collectively putting our feet up to relax after another wild year. The Valentine’s Day rush is one of the most fun - as well as hectic - times to work in an adult novelty shop. It’s a time when we get to help our regular customers pick out something a little extra special, as well as welcome many new faces to the delights of adult shopping.